A general view of online dating and in particular Irish dating online.

So, their profile has jumped off the screen, you have started sending flirts and messages and you have decided it is time to meet up. A lot of people get nervous leading up to the first date. The biggest fear being that you will have nothing in common with your date, conversation never kicks off and what promised to be a great date turns into a comedy act.If you can follow some of these steps to keep the chat alive and going in the right direction, things will go much more smoothly. You may find out more than you wanted to know or how much you never want to see your date again, but hey, at least you know and you will not be leaving with what ifs.

Location, Location, Location!

Firstly, before any conversation exists it is important that you choose a location for a date carefully. Cinemas can be a good way to begin to feel more comfortable around each other and there is less pressure on having to speak all of the time. However, it does not provide much opportunity to learn much about your date. Something informal like getting a coffee is always a good idea, preferably in a quiet cafe where you can actually hear each other speak. Try not sitting directly in front of your date as this puts more pressure on having to engage eye contact and can create an uncomfortable interview style situation.

Listen up!

Learn to be to be a good listener. The conversation topic should always be about your date. Most people like to talk about themselves and what interests them. Also, this shows that you want to learn more about them and that you are considerate and friendly. By listening you can find your cues to start new conversations or expand on something they have said.

Here a few conversation starters to think about.

Travel, what he/she does for fun, family/friends, career etc

Mix it up!

Again, this is not an interview so do not feel as if all of the topics have to be mundane and predictable. Popular culture and current affairs are always good starting points so maybe take some time to read the paper or watch the news. Also, there will be plenty of clues in your dates profile to give away their interests and potentially what they might like to talk about ranging from the latest goings on in the big brother house or recent sport events to the banking crisis or the extinction of the African Leprechaun! Your date will appreciate that you took the time to learn more about them and the conversation will know no bounds. So get studying!

Know when to give up

If trying to make conversation feels like ice skating up a cement hill, have no worries! The chances are the two of you are just not going to hit it off. It takes just 3 seconds to make a first impression so if you feel as though your date is not giving much away then maybe they are just not worth the effort. There are plenty more interesting people on Maybefriends.com.

Look Ahead

If the body language and the chat seem positive then look to the future. Be confident and tell them that you have had a good time. You both can be sure of where you stand and can start making plans for that second date!

Labels: chat-up, Date About Town - Irish Dating, Irish Dating

Well, one minute I was moaning about my single status, the next it all turned around! Which brings me to the feast or famine theory. I have not been single in a long time. People always react a certain way to that (ie don't really react at all) until I drive it home by highlighting the duration of my non-single status with the following three markers: the last time I was single Diana was still alive, nobody had heard of the euro and we got plastic bags for free. Prior to six months ago I looked at single friends with sympathy but also, I admit, pity and even disbelief. How hard could it be? Every time I went out there were loads of attractive men knocking around, there for the taking, and I assumed my friends, wonderful though they are, must be doing something wrong. But lo and behold no sooner had I dusted off my dancing shoes after getting unceremoniously dumped than I realised what they were talking about. The Irish dating scene is a cruel minefield. I, as part of a couple, was like a penniless shopper – you go shopping with no money, the shops are full of gorgeous clothes aching to be purchased. Yet when you do hit the shops on payday there's just nothing that fits, appeals to you, or is within your price range. When I became single I was shocked to find that there was not, as predicted by my mother, a huge queue of men awaiting my arrival. All the pubs I had been dying to go to as a singleton were now suddenly filled with loved up couples and men who just didn't fancy me, plain and simple. They turned away in their droves, until one landmark night when finally I managed a random snog'n'jog. Two nights later I went out beaming from ear to ear and radiating the confidence only seen in one who has recently pulled, and I managed to land a second catch, only this time instead of us both jogging away he asked for my number and I (in what I now realise is an unusual move) gave him the real one. I was seeing him for about a fortnight when I met someone else. Then it all fizzled out and I was alone again. This pattern has replicated itself for the last few months, and then this week after six weeks or so of a drought I find myself back in the feast zone. I had a date set up for Saturday, so went out on Friday night safe in the knowledge that I was not past it and was very promptly approached by a rather hot young man. Went to the date on Saturday delighted with myself about Friday and- you guessed it - I scored again! So spent today texting both and beaming with pride (and being vaguely concerned about glandular fever). I now have a brief window of opportunity in which I can pull, because as soon as the wind changes and a famine zone kicks in, my attractiveness will undoubtedly take a nose-dive. And so the cycle continues...

Labels: Date About Town - Irish Dating