A general view of online dating and in particular Irish dating online.

When have you last heard someone say - I do love him/her it's just that I'm not "in love" with him/her!

What does this mean? A friend said this to me recently about a guy she has been seeing for some time. She argued that although, she does love him, and really wants the best for him, she does not spend her day wishing she was with him and getting really excited about meeting up with him.

Well my view on this is that when we are teenagers and in our early 20's we start seeing someone and we become totally infatuated with them - can't eat, can't sleep, can't wait to see them - and we call this "being madly in love" - but this is always short lived and is also so much better in memory than it ever was in reality.

Then we add a few years, a few knocks, a few disaster relationships and a few heartbreaks and finally we meet with someone that we really get on with.

We thoroughly enjoy their company, we fit well with each-other - same values, same general outlook on life and slowly as we get to know them we grow to love them more and more. This to me is true love - not the "madly in love" version. So if you love someone be grateful that you're not "in love" with them and let the partnership flourish!

I'd love to hear your opinions on this subject so let me know what you think.
In the mean time ... Happy Dating!

Jill
MaybeFriends.com

Labels: love. In love. Seeing someone. Dating.

I was out with some friends on Saturday night and we got to talking about previous exs. One guy admitted that he stood up his now wife! for a girl who he had always fancied and suddenly got the opportunity to date. A heated debate then ensued as to the rights and wrongs of this.
So would you do the same?
His argument was that if he didn't go out with the girl he would always wonder if he should have and how it would have worked out. But that by going out with her he then realised that she definitely wasn't for him, she was then out of his system and he knew that his current girlfriend really was The One for him.
Needless to say his wife was not in agreement on it - she said how upset she'd been when she found out that he wasn't "stuck in a meeting" but in fact was off with another woman and that this was a loss of trust in him that put their whole relationship on the line - luckily she forgave him and 15 years later they are still happily married:-)
What do you think? I'd love to hear your opinions on this.
In the meantime, happy dating!
Jill
Maybefriends.com

Labels: Dating. going out with., girlfriend, two timing, unfaithful

I've put together the MaybeFriends.com top 10 tips on dating as a single parent here they are:
1) Date other single parents - you may find that it suits you better to date other single parents as both of you have a better understanding of each-others time constraints and commitments
2) Wait a few months - before introducing younger children to a new partner, you don't want them getting attached to someone you're not sure about.
3) Try to be as enthusiastic about hearing about your date's children as you are about talking about your own.
4) Keep your opinions to yourself - Remember your date doesn't need advice about child rearing - keep your opinions on how they bring up their children to yourself.
5) Don't be a child bore - if you are dating someone who doesn't have children try not to bore them too much about your perfect off spring.
6) Make the time to date - if the other parent is not involved with your children then get a reliable babysitter - you don't want to be standing up a date because the sitter didn't show.
7) Avoid socialising in the same places as your children - If your children are older then try to make sure you give each-other a wide berth, you don't want them knowing your every move!
8) Don't drag the past into new relationships - If you have been hurt in the past you may be more cautious about dating people - but give people a chance the majority of them are very nice and worth putting in an effort with.
9) Date for yourself - Remember a relationship is for you, it is not to find a suitable parent for your children or to annoy your previous partner so enter the dating game to benefit yourself only.
10) Go Slowly - If it is the right person they will understand that it will take time to get involved in your family life. Don't let them rush you.

Labels: Dating., Single Parent

I was on Chris Barry from Real Radio yesterday and he was asking me was it ok to date serveral people at once or should you date exclusively. My take on it is that it's ok to date as many people as you want as long as they all know that you feel that way. Then if you go out with someone say 3 or 4 times you may then both decide to date each-other exclusively.
I think it is very limiting if you start messaging someone on Maybefriends.com, then have to wait until you go on a date with them before deciding whether to contact someone else. I believe in the dating game, that you should spread your net as far as possible. Answer all messages, meet as many people as you can - that's what it's all about. If you are looking for The One - you need to meet lots and lots of people to ensure that you do find your match!
I'd love to hear your comments on this topic - am I alone in this thinking?

Jill
Maybefriends.com
Great People. Great Friends. Great Dates.

Labels: dating. Dating exclusively.

Like most of the population I cringed when I first saw John and Edward in the X-Factor - was this to be the Irish representative - how embarrassing! However, they have grown on me more and more over the last few weeks. Sure, they don't have a note in their head but they are sooo entertaining and enthusiastic. You can see that they are loving every minute of it and their enjoyment is infectious. I find myself now eager to see what they will come up with next - they will probably never get a recording contract but I'd go to see them if they were in Dublin cos I know it would be a really fun night out.
This got me to thinking about when you meet new people. Often we are very dismissive of people because something they do at that first meeting irritates us or we make an instant decision about them based on a first impression. But many people grow on us - think about people you are forced to be with - work colleagues, friends of friends etc. some of these people probably really annoyed us at first but as we gave them time (because we had to) they gradually grow on us.
We never allow for this when we are dating - we make instant decisions based on first impressions - maybe we should take a little more time and let people grow on us a little before showing them door!.
Happy Dating!
Jill Maybefriends.com

Labels: dating. Maybefriends.com, John and Edward, x-factor