A general view of online dating and in particular Irish dating online.

How long should you wait after a break up before getting back into the dating scene?

We all know the stories about meeting people on the "rebound" and how that rebound relationship is destined for disaster. But there is a certain satisfaction in being seen to be able to bounce back from a break-up. This can be very unfair to the poor unsuspecting person you happen to go out with after the break up though - they are genuinely looking to build a relationship where your motives may be less pure.

To be fair to potential dates I think you should be sure that you are over your Ex in your head before you start dating again and don't let your stubborn streak or pride effect how quickly you return to the dating game.
We in MaybeFriends.com would love to hear your comments on this.

Labels: break ups, rebound

It's official - Size does matter!

The latest MaybeFriends.com survey has proved what we have heard all along - Size Does Matter! The size of an age gap between men and women, that is! MaybeFriends.com surveyed men and women about the importance – or not – of an age gap. 47.5% of the responses were from men with 52.5% from women and 322 replied in total.

69% of the men and 73% of women said it was the size of the age gap which determined whether it mattered or not. Both sexes felt that an age gap of 5 - 10 years was the most acceptable - whether a woman was dating a younger man or a man was dating a younger woman - or vice versa! This view has not changed since we did a similar survey two years ago.

3.7% of the men thought a woman dating a man more than 40 years younger or more was okay while just 1.2% of the women agreed.

Meryl Streep topped the list of older women that men would like to date while 'Twilight' star Robert Pattinson was the younger male celebrity that women would choose!

Males
The vast majority of the men - 57.4% - said that if a man is dating a younger woman, a gap of between 5 and 10 years is the most acceptable, with 24.8% saying between 10 and 20 years was fine - and 2.8% saying that a woman being over 40 years younger was okay too!

When asked about the acceptable age gap for a woman dating a younger man, again 48.5% of the men said that between 5 and 10 years was deemed the most acceptable. A third – 33.1% - thought between 2 and 5 years was best with nearly 12% saying between 10 and 20 years was okay! 3.7% of men thought a woman dating a man 40 years younger or more was fine!

Females:
When the women were asked about the acceptable age gap for a woman dating a younger man, again the vast majority (47.3%) felt that between 5 and 10 years is the most acceptable. 37% felt that up to 5 years younger was okay with 13.3% saying between 10 and 20 years younger was fine.

55.3% of the women also felt that 5 to 10 years was the most acceptable gap for a man dating a younger woman, followed by 19.4% plumping for the woman being 10 to 20 years younger and 18.8% saying no more than five years younger was good.

Older Women/Younger Men:
Nearly 74% of the men said they had dated an older woman. For most (35.6%), the woman was no more than 5 years older – but 32.7% dated a woman between 5 and 10 years older. Nearly 8% had gone out with a woman up to 20 years older – but none admitted to dating a woman more than 20 years older!

Of those men who had not dated an older woman, when asked why, they said they preferred women the same age or slightly younger than them (59.5%) – and 27% said they went for much younger women - with 13.5% saying they didn’t fancy older women.

71% of the women surveyed had dated a younger man with most (37.5%) saying the guys were between 2 and 5 years younger. Nearly 31% were between 5 and 10 years with 23.3% being less than 2 years younger. Just 7.5% had dated a man up to 20 years younger.

For those women who had not dated a younger man, 71% said they preferred men the same age or slightly older with 18% saying that they didn't fancy younger men as they are too immature.

Ideal Younger Celebrity Date:
When the men were asked if they were to date an older celebrity, who would it be, Meryl Streep shaded it over Demi Moore with Michelle Pfeiffer coming in third. Jennifer Anniston and Angelina Jolie got equal number of votes - however, the wide-ranging list showed that Irish men have a very diverse taste! Other women mentioned included Sophia Loren, Helen Mirren, Annette Bening, Cher, Sophia Loren, Cilla Black, Nigella Lawson, Sade, Stevie Nicks, Mary Kennedy, and Sarah Palin-impersonator, Tina Fey! Iris Robinson got one vote.

When asked which younger male celebrity they would date, the women chose, 'Twilight' star Robert Pattinson, very closely followed by Michael Buble and Colin Farrell, with Jude Law taking fourth place.. However, Irish women – like their male counterparts – produced a very varied list! Featuring with the same amount of votes were Robbie Williams, Justin Timberlake, Ashton Kutcher and Jake Gyllenhaal. Following on were Josh Hartnett, Brad Pitt, Dr. McDreamy and Johnny Depp and other Irish men included were Jedward, Daithi O Se and Ryan Tubridy!

I read through hundreds of profiles every week and it always surprises me when women - and it does seem to be exclusively women - give a list of what they don't want in a man......
Not too small, not interested in anyone who doesn't have a college degree, no children please. Don't want someone with baggage. etc.
What does this say to prospective men when they read it? Lets assume that they are of average height, have a college degree, no children and no baggage - they fit the bill - excellent - do you think they are going to send a message to this woman though? I'd be very surprised if they do.

Starting off with negatives and a shopping list of what you are not looking for in a man is just a huge turn off - and I think you've got to be prepared to give people a chance and not judge them based on a criteria which you deem to be vital in the opposite sex. Broaden your horizons and be prepared to at least message back and forth with a wide range of people - you've nothing to lose and you could end up with someone who holds none of your criteria but all of the magic you require.

happy dating,

Jill
www.maybefriends.com

Labels: dating. online profiles.

When have you last heard someone say - I do love him/her it's just that I'm not "in love" with him/her!

What does this mean? A friend said this to me recently about a guy she has been seeing for some time. She argued that although, she does love him, and really wants the best for him, she does not spend her day wishing she was with him and getting really excited about meeting up with him.

Well my view on this is that when we are teenagers and in our early 20's we start seeing someone and we become totally infatuated with them - can't eat, can't sleep, can't wait to see them - and we call this "being madly in love" - but this is always short lived and is also so much better in memory than it ever was in reality.

Then we add a few years, a few knocks, a few disaster relationships and a few heartbreaks and finally we meet with someone that we really get on with.

We thoroughly enjoy their company, we fit well with each-other - same values, same general outlook on life and slowly as we get to know them we grow to love them more and more. This to me is true love - not the "madly in love" version. So if you love someone be grateful that you're not "in love" with them and let the partnership flourish!

I'd love to hear your opinions on this subject so let me know what you think.
In the mean time ... Happy Dating!

Jill
MaybeFriends.com

Labels: love. In love. Seeing someone. Dating.

I was out with some friends on Saturday night and we got to talking about previous exs. One guy admitted that he stood up his now wife! for a girl who he had always fancied and suddenly got the opportunity to date. A heated debate then ensued as to the rights and wrongs of this.
So would you do the same?
His argument was that if he didn't go out with the girl he would always wonder if he should have and how it would have worked out. But that by going out with her he then realised that she definitely wasn't for him, she was then out of his system and he knew that his current girlfriend really was The One for him.
Needless to say his wife was not in agreement on it - she said how upset she'd been when she found out that he wasn't "stuck in a meeting" but in fact was off with another woman and that this was a loss of trust in him that put their whole relationship on the line - luckily she forgave him and 15 years later they are still happily married:-)
What do you think? I'd love to hear your opinions on this.
In the meantime, happy dating!
Jill
Maybefriends.com

Labels: Dating. going out with., girlfriend, two timing, unfaithful

I've put together the MaybeFriends.com top 10 tips on dating as a single parent here they are:
1) Date other single parents - you may find that it suits you better to date other single parents as both of you have a better understanding of each-others time constraints and commitments
2) Wait a few months - before introducing younger children to a new partner, you don't want them getting attached to someone you're not sure about.
3) Try to be as enthusiastic about hearing about your date's children as you are about talking about your own.
4) Keep your opinions to yourself - Remember your date doesn't need advice about child rearing - keep your opinions on how they bring up their children to yourself.
5) Don't be a child bore - if you are dating someone who doesn't have children try not to bore them too much about your perfect off spring.
6) Make the time to date - if the other parent is not involved with your children then get a reliable babysitter - you don't want to be standing up a date because the sitter didn't show.
7) Avoid socialising in the same places as your children - If your children are older then try to make sure you give each-other a wide berth, you don't want them knowing your every move!
8) Don't drag the past into new relationships - If you have been hurt in the past you may be more cautious about dating people - but give people a chance the majority of them are very nice and worth putting in an effort with.
9) Date for yourself - Remember a relationship is for you, it is not to find a suitable parent for your children or to annoy your previous partner so enter the dating game to benefit yourself only.
10) Go Slowly - If it is the right person they will understand that it will take time to get involved in your family life. Don't let them rush you.

Labels: Dating., Single Parent

I was on Chris Barry from Real Radio yesterday and he was asking me was it ok to date serveral people at once or should you date exclusively. My take on it is that it's ok to date as many people as you want as long as they all know that you feel that way. Then if you go out with someone say 3 or 4 times you may then both decide to date each-other exclusively.
I think it is very limiting if you start messaging someone on Maybefriends.com, then have to wait until you go on a date with them before deciding whether to contact someone else. I believe in the dating game, that you should spread your net as far as possible. Answer all messages, meet as many people as you can - that's what it's all about. If you are looking for The One - you need to meet lots and lots of people to ensure that you do find your match!
I'd love to hear your comments on this topic - am I alone in this thinking?

Jill
Maybefriends.com
Great People. Great Friends. Great Dates.

Labels: dating. Dating exclusively.